Thursday, October 4, 2007

What I want and need from a spanking

What I want most from a spanking is the emotions. I want to experience them all!

I want the shock of being caught in the middle of what you are doing wrong,
The instant fear of what will happen,
The anticipation of what is to come,
The dread of being called over,
The second of contemplating running and hiding,
The reluctance to do as you are told,
The embarrassment of being scolded and exposed,
The regret for doing the thing that put you there,
The knowledge that you have no escape,
The panic of realizing what is happening,
The excitement of the struggle,
The acceptance of your situation,
The shame for causing disappointment,
The remorse for what you have done,
The relief after the last slap,
The calm of knowing its over,
The release of guilt and knowledge you are forgiven,
And the love you feel from knowing someone cares.

Its this crazy rollercoaster of emotions that separates a fun spanking from a real one to me

Sunday, August 26, 2007

yay!! to be a brat at wal-mart!

16 funny things to do at Wal-mart


1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone," 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.."NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"

Friday, August 3, 2007

reasons for a spanking

my friend Amanda found this online and posted it in her blogI liked it so much I decided to post it here. the URL to the site it was found on is on the bottom


1) Play
Play spankings are fun! There is laughter and even giggling. They are done gently and with not too much pain... Just some stimulation. They are mixed with teasing and tickling and rubbing and are just plain fun! They deepen a relationship, and frequently are a prelude to sex and intimacy.

2) Erotic
Erotic spankings are designed to enhance the subs sexual response, and may in fact become quite severe and genuinely painful. The pain can enhance sexual response in an experienced sub, and drive orgasm to incredible heights! This pain can be interpreted as the most exquisite pleasure, and moans and deep sexual response are common. Usually for fairly experienced players... Spankings can provide 'spice' to enhance the sexual flavor. It is a often a learned response to enjoy pain.

3) Behavior correction
Exactly like the spankings that were given when you were a child. Behavior has been unacceptable and the spanking is given as a reminder that this behavior will not be tolerated. The sub may not even have realized that the behavior was not acceptable and may feel no guilt whatsoever. (Before that is. lol) The spanking is a means of correction and control and behavior modification. It communicates the Master's disapproval.

4) Punishment
Similar to the above with the exception that something genuinely detrimental has been done... such as stealing or angry, hateful outbursts. There is scolding, the punishment is unpleasant and the spanking really hurts. The objective is to allow the sub to feel that justice has been meted out, so that forgiveness is possible. It brings closure to an unpleasant situation. Usually followed by hugs and kisses and real forgiveness. It is used to sweep the cobwebs from the relationship.

5) Guilt Therapy
Sometimes painful situations from the past have occurred which have left a sense of guilt and great sadness. The sub has no way to deal with these long past emotional hurts, and the guilt disturbs her overall sense of well being and happiness. Spanking therapy can be applied, combined with compassionate discussion and hugs. Allows her to "pay her debt" and clear her heart. Frequently requires several working sessions, but marvelous results in obtaining closure and relieving the sense of guilt have been reported.

6) Relaxation
Usually done OTK on the bed with the sub just relaxed lying over the lap. The spanking is gentle and mixed with deep massage and gentle finger strokes that bring relaxation and peace. These spankings will relieve tension and muscle tightness and leave a sense of well being and being cared for. Almost a form of massage therapy. One can spend an hour or so on this type of spanking and put the sub into a peaceful heaven with a gentle smile on her face. A good spanking is better than a Valium !

7) Bottom warming
Great for a cold, cold night. There is nothing like the warm glow of a well warmed bottom and then afterwards cuddling under the blankets to bring warmth to the heart and tingles to the posterior. Makes for a happy and warm, contented sub. :)

8) Comfort
This would seem to be a paradox... a spanking for comfort? But I have seen times where the sub has done something sad-- or has had a 'bad hair day', and just felt lonely and bad inside. (The sub may even ask for a spanking under these circumstances)...In cases like this a compassionate OTK spanking will sometimes relieve the emotional tension and make the world seem right again. The sub feels cared about and loved and finds comfort. The instruments used vary... There are so many... the hand, paddles, floggers, straps, canes.. etc. But that is the subject of another post.

From : http://disciplinedomestique.online.fr/articles/reasons.php

Friday, July 27, 2007

I found another story! (fiction 2)

now I did not write this i found it online at:

http://www.io.com/~lepidus/pantiespantiespanties/myownspankingstory.html

while I was just searching for stories through google but I loved this story it was soo fun to read!






Hiromi Gets Herself a Spanking



Hiromi was in trouble and she knew it. She wondered if Daddy would spank her right away or make her wait. ''Waiting is the worst!'' she thought, though in this case maybe it would be better to put it off... She didn't need to speculate, though, she'd know soon enough - she could hear a man's footsteps approaching the door. As she watched, the handle turned with what seemed like an unnatural slowness. An icy hand gripped her right in the middle of her bottom.

''Act natural,'' she told herself, which only caused her to give a nervous giggle just as her owner walked in.

''What's wrong?'' Daddy asked immediately.

''Me? Nothing! Why do you ask?''

''Just that you have a strange look on your face.'' So much for ''natural,'' Hiromi thought. Daddy continued. ''Okay, what have you done?''

''Um... nothing?''

''Hiromi...''

''Yes, Daddy?''

''Come on, out with it. Now.'' He had never been all that patient in these situations and was already heading toward the bedroom. Hiromi hurried to head him off.

''It's nothing, honest. It's just that... Well, I...'' Try as she might, she couldn't think of a way to make it sound any better.

''I only smoked a little, because I was lonely,'' she said with a rush. Daddy stopped in his tracks, slowly turning to look at her.

''Hiromi Catharine! It's nothing, honest?'' he mocked in a voice of disbelief. ''It doesn't sound like nothing. It sounds a lot like smoking weed.'' Hiromi felt herself tighten at that word - it had unfortunate connotations - unfortunate for her and unfortunate for her bottom. ''We've talked about smoking weed, haven't we?'' Daddy's speech went on. ''We have a way of dealing with smoking weed, don't we, young lady?'' Every time he used the term ''smoking weed'' he might as well be saying ''spanking,'' she thought. ''Hiromi Catharine, you do know how we deal with smoking weed, don't you?'' Instinctively Hiromi's hands shot back to cover her bottom, in a way answering Daddy's question very clearly. Though that's not the answer her voice gave.

''Well, I know... but... I thought... maybe this time..."

''You thought maybe this time what, young lady? That you wouldn't be spanked? That smoking weed wouldn't get you a good bare-bottomed spanking?''

Hiromi didn't want a spanking - Daddy's spankings hurt! While she was getting them they stung like mad - she was always convinced she just had to get away and never could - and they left her so sore! Not just sore, very sore - sore like when you sit down a long time later you can still feel it like you just got it, that kind of sore. And she certainly didn't want one of those - especially not on her bare bottom!

And that was exactly how her owner was going to spank her - over his knee, her head down, pajama bottoms off, bottom up, panties down, bottom bare, her creamy skin inviting his stern reproval! Daddy had never once let her keep her panties up. Quickly Hiromi's mind raced to remember what panties she'd put on, thankful that her white ones wouldn't add any to her embarrassment - having her bottom bared was embarrassing enough as it was!

Part of her wanted to run and hide, but most of her simply followed Daddy into the bedroom - the bedroom, where she was always taken to be spanked. Much as she hated getting a spanking, especially one of Daddy's spankings, she really did dislike smoking weed and really wished she could stop doing it. If having her owner spank her would stop her from smoking weed, maybe that was a good thing - if only it didn't have to be such a spanking!

Once in the bedroom, Daddy looked at her sternly as he sat on the edge of the bed, extending his legs as her soon-to-be ''resting'' place. My God, already? Hiromi thought to herself, but Daddy, instead of immediately motioning her over his lap and into place, clasped a hand on each of her arms.

''Now baby girl, I want to be fair about this, you know that, I hope. You should also know that I'm disappointed to hear about your smoking weed.'' Hiromi's spirits sunk even lower, though for a new reason now. She didn't like to disappoint Daddy. ''Very,'' he added. Maybe she really did deserve a spanking. ''I want you to tell me how this happened,'' he concluded. She tried to bow her head but with a gentle touch he raised her chin and made her look him in the eye.

''I don't know...'' was all she could think of to tell him. It would take too long to explain and not do any good anyway - but he wasn't about to settle for that.

''This smoking weed of yours, it must have had some reason. It didn't just happen, now did it? And I want you to tell me how or why it did.'' His face hardened even further. ''And you are going to tell me.''

''It's like this - I didn;t know when you would get back and I was scared.''

''I see. Hiromi?''

''Yes, Daddy?''

''Did I just hear anything that would keep me from giving you a spanking? Anything that would discourage me from giving you each and every swat of the spanking you've earned?''

''I don't know... maybe...'' she replied sullenly.

''Hiromi Catharine.''

''No. I guess not...''

''No. Nothing I heard dissuades me in the least. You, young lady, have behaved yourself into a panties-down spanking and now you are going to get it.''

Fighting off thoughts of how soon Daddy would have her creamy bare and blushing, Hiromi moved hesitantly to her owner's side and was a little surprised when he didn't immediately pull her over his waiting lap. Glancing up at his stern face, her surprise turned to dismay and she felt her stomach tighten.

''Oh no,'' she said softly, hopelessly.

''Oh yes,'' came his reply. ''You know better.''

''No, really - please? I don't need that... do I?'' This last was no more than a whisper.

''You need to learn, and the belt helps you learn. Don't make me waste my time - spanking you by hand has never changed a thing.

''Go,'' Daddy demanded and commanded.

Reluctantly - very reluctantly - Hiromi trudged off to get the belt. Retrieving it from the back of the closet, she took just a tiny moment to feel both its unfeeling undefined and her own twinge of rebelliousness - ooo, to throw it, hide it, destroy it! Now that would be satisfying! Instead, the belt would have its satisfaction on her, heating, punishing, scalding her poor helpless bottom. And if she ever did manage to do away with it, Hiromi had no doubt that Daddy would produce something even worse to deal with her current infraction and that additional one as well!

Shaking herself free of such imaginings, Hiromi and her thoughts returned to the bedroom and her owner's side, meekly proffering the demanded and dreaded belt, knowing full well that in mere moments it would be blistering her bottom, and thoroughly. Her poor little bottom! What did it ever do? It wasn't the one that had a problem with smoking weed, she was. Why should it have to suffer? It just wasn't fair!

Oblivious to these objections, Daddy still sat like a deity on the edge of the bed, waiting to tumble her over his unforgiving thighs. As he reached to take the belt from her, she pulled it back slightly.

''You'll start slowly, won't you?'' She knew she wasn't supposed to ask and he always replied with ''Is that what you deserve, young lady?'' But this once Daddy just took the belt from her and nodded sympathetically.

Seeing his reaction Hiromi realized that she must be in even more trouble than she imagined. Her whole body stiffened and shook and she couldn't keep herself from turning and trying to run away - but Daddy was too quick for her, he'd grabbed her wrist even as the belt left her hand. Before she knew it she was over his knee and the blood was rushing to her head.

Spank! He began immediately - spank spank spank spank spank!
''Ow! Oh! Wait!'' No matter how much time Daddy would take leading up to it, the first swat always startled her. Alternating stiffening and squirming, she quickly sunk into place as her owner jostled her for a better and steadier grip.

Spank spank spank - spank spank spank spank! spank! spank! spank! spank!

''Ow! No! Too hard!'' Hiromi protested, though really her pajama bottoms muffled the effect considerably - nearly all of this pain was caused by her own tension and apprehension. So far!

Spank spank spank spank! spank! spank!

''Ow ow ow!'' she continued, only to have Daddy chastise her further.

''Settle down, young lady - we haven't even started. I''m just getting you settled in. You can't even feel anything through your pajama bottoms.''

Spank spank spank! spank spank! spank spank!

''No, no! I feel it! I do! don't!'' Hiromi insisted somewhat nonsensically - the chance that he would stop already was non-existent.

''Shall I stop already? I thought I was doing this for you - you do know what's next, don't you?''

Ah - here was the dilemma upon whose horns Hiromi lay. To be spanked over her pajama bottoms, and therefore longer - or to shorten it a little and jump right to ''pants-down''? Or even panties-down? She made the same coward's choice she always had before.

Spank spank spank spank - spank spank spank! spank spank!

''No, no - that's okay,'' she decided immediately, and having done so found that this phase was much more tolerable. Maybe by the time he gets to my bare bottom I'll be ready, Hiromi thought. Right. And maybe his arm will wear out first - or I'll just fly to the moon!

Spank spank spank - spank spank spank spank! spank! spank! spank! spank!

''Owww. Owwwwww,'' Hiromi moaned softly, concluding that some sort of reaction was still in her favor. ''Hey! Wait!'' For no sooner had she resigned herself to an over-the-pajama bottoms spanking than the pajama bottoms-spanking was over! ''Stop! Not yet!''

''Oh?'' Spank spank spank spank!!! ''Haven't had enough yet? I thought you were in a hurry!'' Spank spank spank spank!!! Hiromi's owner saw to it that these final swats before her pajama bottoms deserted her made all the more of an impression.

''OW! Geez!'' She twisted around in an attempt to see if he was still using his hand - it seemed harder than ever! All she managed to see was Daddy removing her first line of defense. He slid the pink fabric off her bottom, revealing her white panties.

Spank spank spank spank!!! Haaaaah, Hiromi thought.

''Haaaaaaah!'' Hiromi said. She had thought of her pajama bottoms as sort of insubstantial it but had been giving her more protection than she realized - now with nothing between his hand and her thin panties his every spank stung and stung to high heaven! Spank spank! spank spank! spank spank spank! spank spank spank!

''Owwwwooooooo? Oww? Ow, ow?'' In her mind Hiromi questioned if Daddy really needed to spank her quite this completely.

Picking up on this, her owner didn't hesitate. ''If you didn't want this spanking, young lady, you shouldn't have been smoking weed,'' he decreed, his logic unassailable. Like she hadn't thought of that! ''You know what smoking weed gets you - maybe next time you'll have an easier time deciding what you really want!''

''Grrrr,'' Hiromi grrrr'd - quietly.

Spank spank spank spank spank spank spank! spank spank spank spank spank spank spank!

''Ow oh ow oh ow ow ow!''

From long experience Daddy knew just what he was doing. Half or more of his spanks landed where her panties had ridden up due to her unflattering position. Not only did they sting all the worse, they were those same low spots Hiromi already knew she'd feel long afterward. How was she ever supposed to sit again?

Spank Ow Spank Ow Spank Ow Spank! On they went, like partners volleying on a tennis court - except that her soft bottom was no match for her owner's hard hand, and in this match she was being soundly beaten! And the sounds of that beating were Spank Ow Spank Ow Spank Ow Spank!

''Oh oh please,'' she protested - a lot of these spanks should count as panties-down! Not that they would, and not that she thought otherwise for even a moment. Nonetheless Hiromi felt that some sort of protest was called for. Spank spank spank - spank spank spank spank! spank! spank! spank! spank! spank! spank! spank! spank! Ooooo, Daddy knew just how to make her feel those! And Hiromi's poor little bottom did - each and every one!

Then quickly a lot more protest was very much called for!

''Oh no - really - no, please, no. Please?'' Her owner had stopped spanking long enough to pluck at the waistband of her panties - and she did not want them down! She grabbed them herself and held on tightly. ''Not those - they don't make a difference anyway,'' she claimed, fibbing slightly - though she was always surprised what a difference they did make. One by one, Daddy peeled her fingers from her white panties. And then they were gone.

Spank! spank! Her creamy cheeks, only slightly colored by his gradual chastisement, were now fully under his hand - and eyes. Hold still! she told herself, wanting to minimize any jiggling or inappropriate exposure - try to hold still!

Spank! spank! Spank Spank! SPANK SPANK!

Maybe kicking and squirming was a better approach after all!

Spank! spank! Spank Spank! SPANK SPANK!

Suddenly he was in a hurry, a man with a mission. Now that he had her bare bottom in sight and squarely in his sights, he wanted it sore and stinging - both, a lot, and right now!

Spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank!Spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank!Spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank spank!

Couldn't Daddy hear her at all? Nothing seemed to slow him down! Just as she thought her poor little bottom would burst into flames, her owner's grip tightened! Her stomach followed suit as Hiromi recognized the meaning of this gesture!

''Oh no! No! No! OW! OH!'' His spanks rained down so much harder without slowing down at all. Her kicking and struggles became furious, but the harder she fought, the harder he spanked!

Spank! Spank!

SPANK! SPANK!

Spank! Spank!

SPANK! SPANK!

''OW OH OH OH OW OH OH!'' she cried. When, oh when, would this be over? And then, with frightening abruptness, it was!

''Now, young lady, it's time we took care of this smoking weed,'' Daddy pronounced.

Oh no! The belt - smack smack smack smack smack smack smack! By the time she realized what was about to happen her belt spanking was already well underway! Instantly the warmth of his hand was replaced by the sting of the belt's leather. Oooo, did that hurt! Hiromi could never remember quite how much until she was feeling it - but as soon as she felt it she could remember - remember all too well!

smack smack smack smack smack smack smack!

''No, no - stop! Enough! I'll be good! I promise! Oh owwwwww...''

''Hiromi Catharine! Your smoking weed? This is most certainly NOT enough, except that it's enough out of you. Now hold still. You know you've earned this - and more. If you're good you'll get a lot less of the ''more.''''

smack smack smack smack smack smack smack!

Try as he might to be ''fair,'' when it came to smoking weed her owner was strict. That belt HURT!

smack smack smack smack smack smack smack!

''No, no, not more - please, not more. Ow oh ow oh ow...''

smack smack smack smack smack smack smack!

''No - no please! I'll be good! I've learned my lesson - I have!'' As well she may have - her usually creamy cheeks shone from the belt's harsh leather.

''Then hold still, baby girl, so I can finish.'' And finish he did. With a flurry of smack-smack-smack's he made sure she'd have no place to sit, not for a good long time. Then the hardest yet, right in the center - smack smack smack smack smack smack! Even as Hiromi recognized these as his final spanks she could take no relief as the barrage drove her past all limits of ''taking it.''

''Whaaa - aaa - ow - oooo - ooo - ooo - ooo - NO!''

''Okay, Hiromi. Okay, baby girl. Breathe. Now breathe...'' Daddy encouraged. As slowly as it had begun it just as suddenly ended. Slowly Hiromi calmed down and her breathing did steady a bit.

''Now, young lady - no more smoking weed - understood?'' Somehow Hiromi nodded her acquiescence. And as she returned the belt to the back of the closet, she never wanted to have anything to do with smoking weed, the belt, or even her owner sitting on the edge of the bed - ever, ever again!



--

Matt Anglen - 2004

--

Monday, July 16, 2007

my great day! ^_^

Well Sunday morning I woke up at 8am. I woke up pretty easily and just in time to see my mom headed out the door to go to Florida for a couple days to go to some doctors appointments. I said goodbye to her and took a shower then I got dressed only to realize the under skirt of my skirt was wrinkled so I ran down the stairs to turn on the iron and went upstairs and did my hair then ran back down to iron then up to do my makeup, lol, a normal hectic morning. Then I headed out the door in my black shirt and fluffy pink skirt with black strappy heels.

I drove about 5 min before I realized I forgot the map. I am a very forgetful person. so I turned around and got it then headed out again, this time I made it to the highway when I realized I forgot my jewelry, but I said, "screw it!" and went without! It was a nice drive I had my sunglasses on and my radio blaring, I had a great time! I got there at almost exactly 11am and Cookie called me and told me which garage they were in, but I had just past it and it was a one way street so I had to go around and find it again Cookie and Thomas went to the top of the garage and waved to me as I passed so I found it, hehe.

Well I went inside and parked my car on the third level and got out and went over to the elevator/entrance and waited for them that’s when I saw Lynne, I recognized her right away, though I did not know she was in a wheel chair, but that didn’t bother me in the least, surprised me a little, but she is cool! So I waited with her for Cookie and Thomas to come. They got there and both gave me hugs right away, I felt as if I had known them my entire life!

Then we went in the food court entrance and ordered something to eat. We talked a lil while we ate and enjoyed ourselves. When we were done eating we walked into the mall, the ground was an old street and I looked up and it looked as if we were under a bridge and I said so, but Thomas insisted it was stores on top of it. Then we got to the end of the hall where there was a giant fake train engine and a spot to take city view photos. That’s when Thomas decided to go back to the car for his camera, and he told the three of us that we were to wait right where we were and stay together.

Well, being the 3 cute mischievous angels we were, we decided to hide behind the photo backdrops until he came back just to see how long it would take him to find us, hehe!

Well, it backfired because when Lynne saw him coming and came closer, she didn't realize he saw her too! So we were all looking out one side waiting for him to come and he snuck up behind us! We all just giggled and he gave us a look! So we told him we were looking at the train and just ended up back there, lol, he didn’t believe that for even one second, but he let it slide.

So we walked down to the other end of the hall and stopped and looked in some of the kiosks and stores along the way, Cookie and I looking at every piece of jewelry we saw and Lynne and all of us looking at all the key chains, t-shirts, bumper stickers, and magnets we saw looking for the brattiest statements, hehe! We passed a stair well at one point and when you looked down into it there was a black curtain hanging there, I decided it must be a hidden magic curtain and Cookie agreed, Thomas didn’t believe us though. And we passed a pressed penny machine which I had to stop at because I collect those!

Then we went outside to a small courtyard where Thomas wanted pictures of us. I am picky when it comes to pictures of me, so I hated that idea, but when I asked if I had to take the photo, he gave me that look again, Cookie and Lynne started cracking up, so I said I'd take the photo. Then I added, I'll just cover my face. The look I got then! I immediately said I won't cover my face and then went and stood behind Cookie.

So he told the 3 of us to go to the fountain for the picture, Cookie and I tried to hide behind Lynne's wheel chair, but of course that was not allowed and Thomas walked over and posed us. After 2 pics that way he had Cookie take a pic of me and him together then I sat on the edge of the fountain and waited while they adjusted the flash and he took a pic of me there! So then we went back inside and went through more stores and we found a window sign for the car that said, "Bad girls need a good lickin!" with the "L" made of a tongue, it was cute, and Thomas had to get it, lol.

Then we looked around the rest of the floor and then took the elevator up to the next floor, which was ground level and outside, that’s when I pointed out to Thomas that I was right! It was a street above our heads not stores, lol, I got that look again. So we walked down to the ice cream place and all ordered something I got a mint chip cone, my fav! And we sat inside and talked a bit and we were talking about the flat tire he got and how it ruined his original plans and I said, yeah live got in the way, and he had to argue that a blown tire isn’t part of life, which I replied, "its part of yours now!" the look I got then threw all three of us girls into a huge giggle fit. I apologized through my laughter; I can't seem to help saying these things! It's like word vomit! It comes out before I can stop myself!

Then we sat outside for a sec so Cookie could have a cigarette. We walked around a lil looking at the little kiosks around us and one lady gave Lynne free shea butter but she didn't want it and handed it to me. Cool! Then we went back into the mall and we were all like, no what? So I said maybe there is something else to do so we look at a brochure for Atlanta and decided to go to either the coca cola factory or the aquarium. So we got in our cars and took off and drove to the other parking garage, after parking we realized the aquarium is far too expensive and we went down to Lynne who was parked in the handicap area and we sat and tried to figure out what to do, and I said why did we even leave in the first place? And Thomas gave me that look and said, excuse me! It was you who said there has to be something else to do! I said, yeah, but ya'll followed it! Then he gave me a look that made me hide behind Cookie again.

So we decided to all get in Lynne's van and go back to the mall that way we wouldn’t have to waste the money moving our cars again, before we left though, Thomas decided to get his "toy" bag out of his car and bring it down and we were to wait in the car and no locking him out of it! Lol, so we giggled and talked of doing just that, but we were good.

Then we all rode back to the underground mall and accidentally parked in a different garage this time but it worked.

We had to walk through the mall this time to get to the food court on the way we passed the toy cart where there was this absolutely annoying toy which was a babbly noisemaker on one end, a whistle on the other, and bubbles in the middle, all three of us girls went for them, Lynne actually opened on and blew bubbles with it, so Thomas felt obligated to buy it, which I managed to get him to let me keep it in my purse. So we went back up to the food court and got drinks and sat at a table, Cookie and Lynne kept taunting Thomas with straw wrappers, which apparently is a pet peeve to him do to brats blowing the wrappers on him. So that was amusing!

Then we went to the restroom where I gave Cookie the toy for her purse hehe. And then we walked around the mall just a bit. At one point I was lagging behind with Lynne and she was trying to tell me something but I didn’t hear her, but Thomas hear her whispering behind him and he went and talked to her and Cookie and I went ahead and watched. More then decided to go back to the van so Thomas could show his toys off before it was time for them to leave for Florida. So we went back to the car and drove all the way up to one of the deserted upper floors and parked in the middle and opened the car doors. Lynne's van is a handicap one so there was no middle row for chairs that was where her wheel chair went there was just a back row, and Lynne's chair turned so she could face us, cookie and I sat in the back row.

Then he got out his bag and went through every item showing them all to me, at one point Cookie got out for a cigarette, so she stood behind him as he was showing me the implements and she was making cute faces and doing lil dances behind his back, which Lynne pointed out to Thomas as revenge for us going ahead in the mall when Thomas was talking to her, so he would turn around and she would play innocent it was soo funny! Then he made her get back in the car so he could keep an eye on her, then he used this lil whippy thing he has and used it all up and down Lynne's arms leaving lil welts coating her arm, she didn’t seem to mind at all! Then he took pics of her arms.

Then he convinced Cookie to let him spank her and she finally gave in and it was cute because she kept making cute faces at me, he spanked her with his hand over her jeans for a bit and he even pulled down her jeans and spanked her more and when he would pause she would ask if he was done yet, which was so funny because we had used that phrase in the myspace group as things you shouldn’t say to your top, so he grabbed a paddle and made her count backwards from ten and spanked her till she was red, and took photos.

Then she got back up and was sitting on the floor and I was out standing and we were talking for a while, while Thomas still sat on the back row, I decided I had to sit, I was in heels all day! So I took the only seat open, right next to Thomas, on his left side. So I sat there and we were talking about safe words and if I knew them, which of course I do, yellow to slow down, red to stop. Then we were just talking again and Cookie was saying that his hand spankings do not hurt much, which thomas replied, "my hand hurts!" which is when I said, "oh, did you bruise it?" then I got a look again, hehe.

But this time I got more than just the look he grabbed my by the hair and tried to pull me over his lap, but I resisted. He said all I have to do if I really don’t want it is safe word out, I was not going to. But I was not going to make it easy for him I stayed and struggled against him, he got me to move to the other side of the back seat so I was on his right side instead and he continued trying to get me over his lap and I fought it for all I could, hehe he did manage to get me over his knee though and in such a way I couldn’t get away!

I still tried my best but he had me pinned! My skirt flew up during the struggle and he started spanking me with his hand and asked Cookie to hand him a hairbrush when he said that I almost got away, but he pulled me back, luckily she couldn’t find it and handed him a paddle instead the first hit with that got my attention, the second actually made me say yellow, then Lynne handed him a strap and he used that and I would kick my feet and he hit my calves with the strap, that made me hold still… for a second. All 4 of us were giggling the entire time, it was very silly.

Then he decided to make me count 10 hits with the paddle, and say thank you, please spank me harder after each count! What a sadistic man! And when I said it after the last hit he took it as permission to continue spanking! *sigh* hehe. Finally he was done and we were both sweaty and breathing hard and still laughing, then he took some pics and then we practically ran out of the van though to get air! And we continued laughing, that’s when Cookie thanked me for tiring him out so she would be "safe" on the ride home with him hehe.

Then it was time to go back to our car, we all got in the van and Lynne drove us to the parking garage where our cars were and she dropped us off we then walked up to our cars and Thomas wanted me to try the carpet beater so I agreed and stood as he wanted me too, and let me tell you, that thing hurts! Lol he did two hits, and it was the kind of sting that grows as you stand there. Then we talked a bit more and then it was time for our goodbyes and we all got into our cars and were on our way. I laughed the entire way home, but I realized something, lace panties hurt when you have a red bottom! When I got home an hour and a half later I looked in the mirror and my bottom was still red! I loved it! I still have a smile on my face!

hello

My name is Mandy and I got an account here mainly so I can post comments on friends pages, I have a livejournal page feel free to see it at http://mandy333.livejournal.com

Saturday, July 14, 2007

plans never stay the same

Well as I mentioned before I was going to spend a day with my online friends in Atlanta. The day was planed for Saturday and I convinced my mom that it was fine for me to go because I said I met Cookie ahead of time so she agreed and she gave me a full tank of gas and $10 just in case money so I could go.

Well the plan was I was going to meet Thomas and Cookie in the parking garage of the underground mall at 10 am on Saturday morning and then we were going to spend the day together before Cookie and Thomas had to leave to get their hotel and go to their spanking party that night.

Well the Thursday before Cookie told Thomas she wouldn’t be able to go due to a family emergency. And Thomas was disappointed but understood, and because I did not want to meet him alone he invited his other bottom Lynne along instead, and that was a good idea, I would be more comfortable if there were others around. so it was set, 10am on Saturday morning, Thomas, Lynne and I would meet in the underground mall.

The next morning, Friday morning, Cookie decided she will come after all because she needed the vacation; I was thrilled I was soo looking forward to meeting her! And so, the plan was changed slightly again. Now it was at 10am Saturday morning, Thomas, Cookie, Lynne and I would all meet at the underground mall.

well that evening I was online planning to go to bed early since I had to wake up early and Cookie IMs me and tells me Thomas got a flat tire on his way to pick her up. And there is no way to get a tire at that time of night, believe me, Cookie and I both searched everywhere online. so Cookie went and picked up Thomas and they would have to wait until the morning to leave and it is a 7hr drive up so we would have to change the plans again this time the plans were changed to Sunday at 10am Thomas, Cookie, Lynne, and I would all meet at the underground mall.

So I decided I would stay up late and read Thomas's blog. Well 6am rolled around before I realized it and the sun was coming up so I went to bed. The next day I woke up went about my day as normal, read a book, helped me mom with our flowers, watched a movie, went on the computer, went out and got everyone dinner. then later I got a call from Lynne saying the mall wont open till 11am on a Sunday, so the planes changed for the last time, at 11am Sunday morning Thomas, Cookie, Lynne, and I would meet at the underground mall. :P

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

joining! ^_^

I joined a BDSM group from the Chattanooga area! it was cool, I friended a girl called kitty on livejournal when I cam across her livejournal page, I loved reading it so I added her and the next day I got an IM from her saying she was the moderator of a local group and she saw I lived in the area and she asked me to join, so of course, I jumped at the chance! Then she told me of an upcoming bowling night the group was planning so I had to go!

now the only obstacles in my way were how to tell my mother where I am going, since I moved back in with her when I moved here and she likes to know where I go that way if I don’t come home she will know where to start the search. also she is quite against me meeting people online, she doesn’t realize I know the safety rule and would never put myself in danger. And the other obstacle is money, since I have no job yet.

So over the next 2 weeks I casually dropped hints that I met a girl online and she and her friends were going to go bowling and they invited me. (It's not a complete lie!) So she warmed up to the idea. Also some spanko friends I have been talking to online, one for almost a year were coming to Atlanta, which is an hour and a half from my house and they wanted me to meet up with them the weekend they come in at the underground mall. So I told my mom that a friend from Tampa (which is a place in Florida I was always at when I lived in Orlando) was coming into Atlanta to visit her boyfriend Thomas and wanted me to meet them. She was ok with this idea because I "knew" one of them. So she offered me gas money for both occasions.

So then the day of the bowling night came, I was soo excited! so I got ready early and had to wait around and my mom gave me $5 for a drink while I was there, I wasn’t planning on playing because of my financial situation but I wanted to go and meet them! She also took the address for the place and the first and last name of a person I was going to meet there. And when I told Lori where I was going she made me promise to call her periodically though the night so she knew I was safe and she had me set up a safe call with her Dom. It's nice I have so many people who care so much about me, but it's so annoying! Lol! But I will never go without those steps, I know my safety rules.

So I drive down there and I was the first one there. but soon one of the people from the group that I had previously met cam in and I recognized Sidney right away the two of us talked a bit and then kitty came in and more people, and introductions all around it was cool. I met rose, a real cool girl who was instantly like able and a few other people and we sat and talked a bit then when everyone was there kitty and all playing went and got their shoes and paid for their games.

while they played I got to know more about rose and the others who were sitting out and we all walked over to the bar where there were horrible karaoke finalists singing, so we went back out, kitty passed out taffy and shared her fries with me, then my friend who I met first when I cam in, Sidney, said he was getting tired of playing and offered me his last game to play, which of course I did!

So he traded his shoes for some that would fit me and I played horribly! I had only 3 points by the start of the 4th frame but I managed to end with a great bowling score of 59! Yay! So then it was time for everyone to head home, sad, but all good things have to end sometime. Then I called my mom and Lori told them I was on my way home and I headed out, I can't wait for the next event!

Saturday, June 23, 2007

fiction

well since the move nothing has really happened to me lifestyle wise. I have been looking for a job with no luck, and I have been walking almost every day for 6-miles a day. I figure I need to get back to losing weight so I can boost my self confidence and feel beter about myself until I can find someone new for me. I dont have any friends here yet, but I an a very optimistic person so I know I will soon. but while nothing is happening I decided i will post stories I find online that are similar to what I am looking for and hoping to get out of my BDSM life. so this first story i found on my friend's myspace blog. I read it almost a year ago and cant get it out of my head, it just sounds almost perfect to me.



It always begins differently. Sometimes with an e-mail, sometimes with a phone call. And often there is no warning at all. Like tonight.

I return home from work a little after 8 pm, later than I'd planned, arms filled with groceries, feet aching from a long day spent on my feet. Distractedly I'm thinking about unpaid bills and the depleted state of my chequing account. There always seems to be something to worry about, and lately I've felt so stressed and pre-occupied, my stomach always in knots. It's been more difficult than I'd imagined, working full time and going back to school. And now I'll have to worry about repaying student loans, too.

Juggling the bags of groceries in one arm, I unlock and open the front door, kicking off my shoes in the hallway, sighing in relief. Once I reach the kitchen I dump the paper bags on the counter, then massage my aching back. Home at last. All I want to do is take a shower and go to bed. Early.

"Michele Marie?" I hear these words and feel flooded with warmth and relief. I will not be alone tonight.

Wandering from the kitchen down the hall, I find him in the living room, reading the newspaper. I drop exhaustedly on the couch, propping my feet on the coffee table, leaning my head on a broad, comforting shoulder. Closing my eyes, I snuggle into his warmth.

"How's my little girl?" he asks, carefully folding the newspaper and putting it aside.

"Frustrated. Tired." I mumble. "Exhausted." I amend my statement. "Nothing's been going right." And now I want nothing more than to be held.

"Come here, pumpkin," he urges me, pulling me onto his lap, hugging me tight. For the next few minutes I rest in his arms as he rocks me back and forth, feeling his warmth sink into my tired body. And as he embraces me and strokes my hair, I start to feel young and small, enveloped and protected by his size and strength and love for me. I shudder, suddenly on the verge of tears.

"It's okay, honey," he reassures me. "Daddy's here."

It's hard for me to admit to needing someone. I hate feeling vulnerable and have a lot of trouble asking for help of any kind. And, oh, the fights we had about this topic. Over and over. About my refusal to acknowledge feeling scared and needy, sometimes. Arguments about my inability to admit to my mistakes. Conflict about my fear that the little girl in me would scare him away. Until the night I came home and he greeted me with my full name: "Michele Marie." The night I came home to Daddy.

When he's my Daddy I can let him take care of me; I don't have to pretend to be strong when I'm feeling weak, I don't have to feign the self-control and independence that is sometimes a burden. With Daddy I feel like a little girl again- young in my skin, free of responsibility. For a while I can be the child who needs protection and guidance; I can admit my faults. I can be the girl who needs her Daddy's loving discipline.

"I think my baby needs a bath," he decides, and I nod obediently, eager to soak in a tub full of hot water. I rise from Daddy's lap, and with a hand at my back he guides me towards the bathroom. Daddy starts to run the water, adjusting the temperature carefully, and I begin to disrobe, unbuttoning my blouse.

"No, honey." His voice is gentle but firm. "Let Daddy undress you."

Passivity can be such a release. It feels so good to be acted upon, rather than act. To wait, trustingly and expectantly, for Daddy to recognize my needs and take care of them. This is one of the gifts Daddy gives me.

Standing in front of him I avert my eyes as his hands complete the task of unbuttoning my blouse, then slide it off my shoulders and down my arms. Obediently I turn around at Daddy's command, and he unhooks my bra, slipping the straps off my shoulders. As I turn back again to face him I blush a little, knowing that Daddy can see my breasts and small brown nipples. Protectively I cross my arms across my chest, but he reprimands me: "Hands at your side, sweetheart."

"Yes, Daddy." When I'm a little girl my voice is higher, softer, melodious. I don't know how this happens, but the change is natural and unforced, and I am not conscious of it when it occurs, though Daddy has commented on the transformation.

Nervously I let my hands fall to my sides. It's embarrassing to be naked in front of Daddy, though I'm very casual about my body with Jess. Daddy's touch, though, is asexual as he unzips my skirt and lets it puddle at my feet. I start a little and squirm when I feel Daddy's hands at the waistband of my panties, and he gives me a gentle swat on my bottom- "don't fidget, pumpkin."

Daddy tugs down my panties leisurely and I try not to wriggle as my underwear descends, exposing my backside, thighs and soft thatch of hair. When the panties reach my feet I kick them off, eager to be in the bathtub and to hide my nakedness. I clench my legs tightly together, feeling shy and awkward.

"Spread your legs, honey," He bids me.

"Daddy," I protest, my voice soft and embarrassed.

A sharp spank reminds me to obey my Daddy, and reluctantly I shuffle my feet apart.

"Open your eyes, Michele Marie." His voice is very quiet. Daddy never yells.

I meet his gaze, see the admiration and love that I need. "Daddy's girl is growing into such a beautiful woman." I glow at this praise, bask in the words I never heard when I was a young girl and needed to hear them.

Daddy's fingers tug at the sparse hair that hides my cleft. "Maybe we should shave this, eh?" When I blush awkwardly, he grins and decides, "maybe next time."

"Into the tub, pumpkin." Once again Daddy gives my backside a swat, and with a shy smile I climb into the water, sighing gratefully as I sink into the hot water.

Our Daddy play has many rules- most of them never articulated. Together we intuited them. When he calls me "Michele Marie," I know that it is safe for me to be a little girl, time for Daddy to appear and take all control from me. And I give it up gratefully. When I am his little girl he uses endearments that adult Michele would scoff at- pumpkin, sweetpea, princess. But as a little girl I don't bristle at these diminutives; instead, they make me feel comforted, safe, loved. I've never told Daddy this, but he understands very clearly how good these affectionate words make me feel, and almost every sentence he utters either begins or ends with an endearment. And it seems very natural for me to call my lover Daddy in these moments.

Leaning back against the tiled wall of the shower I close my eyes, sinking into the heated water, feeling my muscles slowly relax.

For a few minutes Daddy lets me rest in the tub, and we talk quietly about this week's frustrations: a demanding boss, unpaid bills, lack of time to write, lack of time with him. I feel defeated and shamed by my weakness and failures, weary under the weight of so many obligations. Again I feel tears springing to my eyes, and Daddy suggests, "sit up, honey. Daddy will wash your hair for you."

This is one of our favourite rituals. Pulling my knees up to my belly I wrap my arms round my legs, my head drooping like a broken-stemmed flower as Daddy pours warm water on my hair, his hand stroking away the wet strands as they fall against my face. I smell the scent of the baby shampoo, and as he begins to lather my hair, fingers kneading my scalp and hairline, the tightness in my throat, the knot in my belly, dissolve. Daddy's ministrations are so gentle and loving and I sigh as he massages my neck and shoulders, the shampoo sliding off my hair and dissolving in the water, foamy and iridescent.

With the shower attachment Daddy rinses away the lather, his long fingers running through my hair, ensuring that no shampoo remains. This touch feels so good. Relaxing. Loving. I wish that I could let him take care of me more readily; frequently I accept this tenderness with too little grace, I fear. But my Daddy is patient with his little girl. Slowly I am learning that this gift comes with no obligation or cost to me.

"Daddy's going to wash you now, pumpkin." I nod silently, and lean back against the wet tiles as he begins to scrub me, the terry cloth brisk beneath strong hands as Daddy kneels beside the tub. I extend my arms and he washes each one, lingering over each finger, his thumb pressing into my palms. Daddy dwells a little on my neck and shoulders, hoping to relax me. Then the face cloth passes across my breasts, rubbing the underswell, teasing my nipples, and my face grows hot as they harden beneath Daddy's fingers. He chuckles in amusement, and my embarrassment increases.

"Hands and knees, honey. Daddy needs to clean you everywhere."

Momentarily I feel a sense of shame and resistance, and I shake my head. "Michele Marie." The warning is there, in Daddy's voice, and reluctantly I pull myself upright, the tub slippery and hard beneath my knees, my arms braced on the edge of the tub, my bottom resting on my heels.

Once again Daddy soaps the face cloth, then begins to scrub my back. His touch is brisk, but still arousing, and my hips arch to greet his hand as the cloth makes its way downwards.

And now Daddy abandons the washcloth and soaps his hands, and I wait, expectant, knowing what comes next.

Daddy knows what I need; he knows because I told him. For the longest time my hours with him were chaste. Then, one night I came home to a note on my desk: "tell me how you want Daddy to touch you." I cried for an hour, frightened to record the desires and fantasies that had shamed me for so long, sure that when I faced my lover I would see disgust or contempt. I cloaked my desire in euphemism, but still he understood. And Jess accepted what I needed; welcomed it. He showed me the grace that lay behind my shame. Showed me the pleasure that makes me whole.

And so I arch my back and present my bottom, welcoming Daddy's hands as they soap my buttocks, massaging the rounds of my flesh. My breath comes shallow and fast as a soapy finger glides down the furrow dividing my cheeks, and I moan as Daddy rubs teasingly at my anus, round and round, pressing gently, patiently. "Daddy needs to clean you everywhere," he reminds me, and I feel the tight muscle loosen and relax. The tip of his finger eases inside my bottom, moving slowly back and forth, the penetration shallow at first. I feel girlishly virginal and tight, both embarrassed and excited by this penetration.

"That's it, honey," he urges. "Open up. Let Daddy's finger inside. Let Daddy get you nice and clean." I moan at these words, feeling tears come to my eyes as the finger slowly penetrates me to the hilt.

As Daddy's finger squirms and twists in my anus, his other hand slides down my belly, through the thatch of my pubic hair, fingers searching for my bud. He rubs steadily, using the ball of his thumb to press at the side of my clitoris as his middle finger eases inside my sex. My ass opens to take Daddy's finger deeper, and I clasp the edges of the tub as I move closer and closer to orgasm, my hips rocking back and forth against the hands that pleasure me.

My arousal in these moments is that of a greedy child. I have no responsibility for my pleasure, or Daddy's. No needs exist beyond my own, and I delight in my selfishness and Daddy's insistence on it. He has created a space in which I am free to once again be a little girl, discovering her body and its appetites with delight and embarrassment. Only now I feel no shame, for Daddy is here, giving me this gift of pleasure, telling me that these sensations are good and right.

"That's it pumpkin. That's Daddy's good girl. Let it come, honey. Let Daddy make you feel good."

These words free something inside me; Daddy has granted me permission to accept the pleasures of my body, and I surrender gratefully, shuddering against his hands as my orgasm ripples through me, strong and pure.

Slowly Daddy pulls his finger from my rectum, giving the whorls of my rosehole a teasing tickle before he urges me upright. "Bathtime's over, sweetheart. Let's get you dried, hmmn?"

With a big, soft towel Daddy dries me off, his capable hands lingering over my breasts and sex. I balance on one foot, my hands on his shoulders, while Daddy kneels and makes sure my legs and feet are dry, too. Daddy is always thorough.

"Now, pumpkin, I want you to go to your room and put on your nightgown. Daddy will join you in a little while, and we'll have our talk."

Wrapping the towel tightly around my body I scamper from the bathroom, a sharp spank from Daddy hurrying me on my way. Laid across the bed is a special nightgown, one I only wear on the nights Daddy takes care of me. It's made of soft, white cotton and is full length, the hem brushing my ankles when I wear it. 50 buttons run the length of the nightgown, finishing demurely at a rounded neckline. The gown lies on the bed unbuttoned, and it's one of our rituals that I slide on the nightdress and slowly button it, thinking of my bad deeds and failures with each one. In my more adult moments I think of the buttons as an obscene rosary, this bedroom my confessional.

Once I've put on the nightgown and thought about my sins, I lie across the bed to wait for Daddy. I slide the gown up past my hips, exposing my bottom, rosy and soft from my bath. A pillow under my tummy ensures that my backside is properly arched and presented for Daddy's hand and belt. Stretching out my arms and legs, I sigh, my stomach tight with fear and expectation.

Soon, Daddy will join me. He will sit beside me on the bed, stroking my bottom as I confess the naughty deeds that beset my guilty conscience. Perhaps I will admit to masturbation, and Daddy will inspect my sex, searching for wetness and desire. Maybe I will reveal that his finger in my bottom makes me feel squirmy and good, and he will use a bottom pacifier to remind me of my naughty thoughts.

Once my confession is complete, Daddy will begin to spank me. And he will not spank me as a lover would, although there will be tenderness and compassion in my punishment. This spanking is not for my pleasure, and it will not arouse me. No, Daddy will spank me hard and fast, ignoring my protests and distress no matter how real they may be.

Because Daddy understands me; he knows that I need to feel cleansed, both in body and spirit. He understands that now and then I need to feel like a little girl whose bottom pays the penalty for her naughtiness. Sometimes this is the only way that grownup Michele can be released from the failures and mistakes that haunt her. So Daddy's belt will mark me, and I will try to escape the hand that pins me down, until tears flow. Tears of repentance. Tears of release. I will cry away my shame and failure; I will release the bitterness and fear it is so hard for me to articulate. Daddy will spank me until I am exhausted beyond struggle, until he knows that I am free of shame and guilt. Daddy will spank me until I feel like a good little girl.

And after the spanking Daddy will rock me in his arms, his voice strong and consoling as he praises me for my honesty and bravery. Daddy will wipe away my tears and reassure me that he loves me, no matter what. And perhaps I will sob again, then, though my tears will no longer be bitter, but a reflection of my love and sense of safety.

Perhaps Daddy will reward me, then, his hand working between my thighs as he shows me the pleasure that is the due of all good girls. Sitting in Daddy's lap I will smile up at him as he makes me feel good, radiant in his love and protection. And after I am satisfied and feeling sleepy, Daddy will tug down my nightgown and put me to bed, kissing me softly on my forehead. I'll lie face down on the sheets, my bottom aching and sore from my punishment. As I slowly drift off to sleep, Daddy will rub my backside and call me his good girl. I will sleep soundly, all the stresses of my adult life banished for the moment.

Tomorrow I will awaken, and we will be Jess and Michele again; partners, lovers, equals. And perhaps it will be a little easier for me to share my fears and failures with him. Perhaps I will resent my weakness less. I just don't know, though I hope that the wall that sometimes divides us will have crumbled, if only a bit. What I do know is that my Daddy loves me. And he will always be there when his little girl needs him. Nothing I need will ever scare him away.